Crap Towns / Essex / Aveley
Aveley
38/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 38. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Aveley? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Another warehouse? Go on then.
The best thing ever found here died in the Ice Age.
Aveley dug a mammoth out of a gravel pit and nothing much has happened since. The sports pitches are going under warehouses, and the planners have ruled it's too built-up to be a village. It's too shit to be a town. Middle of nowhere, next to everywhere.
Next to everywhere means next to Lakeside, the M25 and the Dartford Crossing, and you can taste it. The nitrogen dioxide is 1.8 times the typical town's, and the fine particles are up too. The local firebugs are setting the bins alight at twice the typical town's rate, which isn't helping, and the car thieves are busy as well.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Aveley's 96 for air pollution means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Air pollution96/10014.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 8.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires76/10011.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping74/10015.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Thurrock council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene72/1006.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 30 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson63/1008.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour51/10010.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband15/1001.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.2% across the Thurrock council area
- Serious road collisions3/1000.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain2/100107 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 12 | Epping | 47 |
| 13 | Grays | 46 |
| 14 | Chigwell | 43 |
| 15 | Loughton | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.– | Aveley | 38 |
| 16 | South Ockendon | 37 |
| 17 | Buckhurst Hill | 37 |
| 18 | Thundersley and South Benfleet | 32 |
| 19 | Billericay | 29 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Aveley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 76.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.2 per 10,000 people, 2.9x the typical town's 1.1
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.32am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,647 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 8% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Thurrock council
Have a crap-off
Aveley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.