Crap Towns / Cheshire / Barnton
Barnton
8/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 8. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Come in. You're not getting out.
Nice enough village. Trying to leave it is the problem.
Barnton's Jam Butty Town, after the story that the locals lived on jam butties so they could buy the house next door as well. Crime's next to nothing, nobody sets fire to anything and the roads are about as safe as they come. Smug, even.
Then you try to leave. Winnington swing bridge opens, you sit there while a narrowboat goes past at walking pace, and the new bridge they keep promising still isn't there. On a Wednesday the last bus is at 7.23pm and on a Sunday there isn't one. Bring a butty.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Barnton's 78 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 78% of towns.
- Sewage spills78/100816 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain73/100149 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene60/1005.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 19 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping34/1008.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cheshire West and Chester council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution30/1006.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband22/1000.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 11.7% across the Cheshire West and Chester council area
- Criminal damage and arson4/1003.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires3/1000.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions2/1000.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour0/1003.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 13 | Neston | 28 |
| 14 | Alsager | 22 |
| 15 | Lymm | 21 |
| 16 | Wilmslow | 21 |
| 17 | Poynton | 15 |
| 18 | Knutsford | 14 |
| 19 | Macclesfield | 12 |
| 20 | Davenham | 12 |
| – | Barnton | 8 |
Barnton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 44.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 42% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 53% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.23pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 4.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 69% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,466 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cheshire West and Chester council
- £2,517 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £125 more than the English average
- 6% of Cheshire West and Chester council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 63% lower than England's 16%
- 16 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Barnton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.