Crap Towns / Hampshire / Whitchurch
Whitchurch
13/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 13. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
It's a town, all right?
A working silk mill on the Test, and locals who get arsey when you call it a village.
Whitchurch has a working silk mill on the River Test, water meadows, plenty of pubs and next to no trouble. Call it a village and the locals will put you right, which is about as heated as Whitchurch gets.
The broadband, though. Gigabit's on offer to 44.3% of premises, and 6.3% can't even get superfast, nearly 13 times the typical town's share. They're weaving silk on a water wheel and the internet's not much quicker. There's no public park either, so it's the water meadows or the pub.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Whitchurch's 99 for broadband means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Broadband99/10055.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 19.5% across the Basingstoke and Deane council area
- Fly-tipping69/10014.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Basingstoke and Deane council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene55/1003.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 28 food businesses with a rating
- Rain51/100128 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions21/1001.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution21/1005.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson18/1004.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires6/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour0/1003.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 14 | Lymington | 18 |
| 15 | Emsworth | 17 |
| 16 | Waterlooville | 14 |
| 17 | Fleet | 14 |
| – | Whitchurch | 13 |
| 18 | Yateley | 12 |
| 19 | Andover | 11 |
| 20 | Winchester | 11 |
| 21 | Romsey | 11 |
Whitchurch by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 40.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 47% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 42 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 79.4 per 10,000 people, 23.4x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 1 hairdresser, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 2.7x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.25pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 6.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 12.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 19.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 27% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,605 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Basingstoke and Deane council
- £2,255 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £137 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Whitchurch against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.