Crap Towns / Hampshire / Andover
Andover
11/100Crap Score
873rd crappest of 984 towns, and 19th in Hampshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Big night out? Get the train.
The nightclubs shut, the precinct's dead and the big night out is a train to Basingstoke. Basingstoke.
Andover's not even bad, it's just nothing. A nice river, a museum about the Iron Age and a precinct that's all cafés and charity shops. The nightclubs shut, so for a night out you get the train to Basingstoke. When Basingstoke's the exciting option, you know you're in trouble.
The banks have worked it out too. Barclays, Halifax, NatWest and Santander have all shut a branch since 2022. Nearly everyone lives round the corner from a park, which is lovely if you're four. Less so on a Saturday night.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Andover's 85 for broadband means it's crapper than 85% of towns.
- Broadband85/10011.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.4% across the Test Valley council area
- Food hygiene53/1002.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 234 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping38/1008.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Test Valley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain37/100123 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires30/1004.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson29/1005.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution29/1006.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour28/10011.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions12/1001.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills5/1000.1 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 15 | Emsworth | 17 |
| 16 | Waterlooville | 14 |
| 17 | Fleet | 14 |
| 18 | Yateley | 12 |
| 19 | Andover | 11 |
| 20 | Winchester | 11 |
| 21 | Romsey | 11 |
| 22 | Farnborough | 10 |
| 23 | West End | 10 |
Andover by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 77.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 133 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 27.4 per 10,000 people, 8.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 21 pubs, 16 hairdressers, 9 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 7 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3.1% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 32) Better: 23% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 8.3 per 100,000 people, 2.4x the typical town's 3.4
- 16 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.3 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.41pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 3.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 77% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,603 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Test Valley council
- £2,306 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £86 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Andover against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.