Crap Towns / Hampshire / Winchester
Winchester
11/100Crap Score
Locals call it Winch. They're Wintonians.
874th crappest of 984 towns, and 20th in Hampshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Winchester? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Underdressed at the Buttercross
The Round Table's still here. So is the sense that your house isn't expensive enough.
Winchester was capital of Wessex and has the Round Table hanging in the Great Hall to remind you. It's a medieval knock-off, not King Arthur's, and it's still up there on the wall. The water meadows are gorgeous, nobody kicks off and the kitchens are spotless. Houses cost an absolute fortune.
Then there's the traffic. The one-way system is a mess and the trains are unreliable. Drug crime runs at over twice the typical town's rate, which is what posh people do instead of vandalism. And for all that money, nearly a fifth of premises can't get gigabit broadband.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Winchester's 94 for broadband means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Broadband94/10019.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 30.7% across the Winchester council area
- Serious road collisions52/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills47/100241 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Rain46/100126 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution38/1007.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson25/1005.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping24/1006.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Winchester council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour9/1008.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires9/1002.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene0/1000.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 338 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 16 | Waterlooville | 14 |
| 17 | Fleet | 14 |
| 18 | Yateley | 12 |
| 19 | Andover | 11 |
| 20 | Winchester | 11 |
| 21 | Romsey | 11 |
| 22 | Farnborough | 10 |
| 23 | West End | 10 |
| 24 | Locks Heath | 9 |
Winchester by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 79.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 80 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 16.5 per 10,000 people, 4.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 32 pubs, 10 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 8 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 29) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 2.1 per 100,000 people, 38% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 29 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 6.0 per 10,000 people, 3.8x the typical town's 1.6
- 7 public swimming pools open; 3 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.01am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 10% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,617 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Winchester council
- £2,360 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £32 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Winchester against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.