Crap Towns / Hampshire / Romsey
Romsey
11/100Crap Score
875th crappest of 984 towns, and 21st in Hampshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The bed race is the wild bit
Riverside pubs, old streets and a charity bed race. That's the edgy bit.
Romsey is a nice old market town on the River Test with riverside pubs and hardly any trouble. Nobody sets fire to anything, nobody kicks off. The edgiest thing that happens all year is a charity bed race through the streets, and that's for a good cause.
It's got 10 charity shops, 3.6 times the typical town's per head, so the pensioners are well looked after. Barclays and NatWest shut their branches, and nobody in a charity shop needed one anyway. Locals who come home pissed blame it on having been to Romsey. Fair enough.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Romsey's 83 for broadband means it's crapper than 83% of towns.
- Broadband83/10010.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.4% across the Test Valley council area
- Sewage spills57/100364 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Food hygiene47/1002.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 130 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping38/1008.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Test Valley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain36/100122 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution33/1007.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions15/1001.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson11/1004.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour7/1007.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires6/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 17 | Fleet | 14 |
| 18 | Yateley | 12 |
| 19 | Andover | 11 |
| 20 | Winchester | 11 |
| 21 | Romsey | 11 |
| 22 | Farnborough | 10 |
| 23 | West End | 10 |
| 24 | Locks Heath | 9 |
| 25 | Alton | 9 |
Romsey by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 52.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 31% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 37 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 18.6 per 10,000 people, 5.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2018
What's left on the high street
- 11 pubs, 19 hairdressers, 10 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 vape shops, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 15) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 10.0 per 100,000 people, 2.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.5 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.09am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 22.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 46% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,676 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 9% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Test Valley council
- £2,306 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £86 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Romsey against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.