Crap Towns / Hampshire / Lymington
Lymington
18/100Crap Score
808th crappest of 984 towns, and 14th in Hampshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Lymington. Snooty as hell.
The papers called Lymington Britain's snootiest town. Nobody there argued.
Lymington is yachts, marinas, a Georgian high street and a cobbled lane down to the quay. The papers called it the snootiest town in Britain and the locals took it as a compliment. They've got strong views on which chains are allowed in. The ferry to Yarmouth costs a fortune and they moan about that too.
For all the airs, it's got charity shops at over five times the typical town's rate per head, and Barclays, Halifax, HSBC and Lloyds have all shut a branch. The last bus is at 8.03pm, because nobody here gets the bus. Tough life, eh.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Lymington's 95 for broadband means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Broadband95/10025.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 22.6% across the New Forest council area
- Sewage spills66/100528 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Food hygiene47/1002.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 130 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions40/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping30/1006.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, New Forest council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson29/1005.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain28/100120 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution18/1005.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires10/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour2/1006.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Petersfield | 26 |
| 11 | Aldershot | 23 |
| 12 | Tadley | 22 |
| 13 | Fareham | 20 |
| 14 | Lymington | 18 |
| 15 | Emsworth | 17 |
| 16 | Waterlooville | 14 |
| 17 | Fleet | 14 |
| 18 | Yateley | 12 |
Lymington by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 56.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 26% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 113 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 76.0 per 10,000 people, 22.4x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 14 pubs, 15 hairdressers, 11 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 4 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 15) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 26.9 per 100,000 people, 7.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 13 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 8.7 per 10,000 people, 5.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 2.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.03pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 48% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,817 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 19% higher than the typical town's 1,532
New Forest council
- £2,420 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £28 more than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 2 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Lymington against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.