Crap Towns / Hampshire / Tadley
Tadley
22/100Crap Score
769th crappest of 984 towns, and 12th in Hampshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
No station. No nightlife.
Makes broomsticks, has a nuclear weapons site next door, and nothing to do of an evening.
Tadley makes besom brooms, some of them for the Harry Potter films, and sits next to the nuclear weapons site at Aldermaston. There's no railway station and nothing to do at night. The Tads tell visitors about treacle mines that don't exist, and hold a Treacle Fair to keep the story going.
Crime's about half the typical town's and the rivers are clean. There are twice the typical town's parks per head, plus Pamber Forest, so that's your evening sorted. Mind what you eat, though, because 2.5 times the typical town's share of its kitchens are rated 0 to 2.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Tadley's 85 for broadband means it's crapper than 85% of towns.
- Broadband85/10014.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 19.5% across the Basingstoke and Deane council area
- Food hygiene76/1006.1% rated 0 to 2, of the 49 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping69/10014.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Basingstoke and Deane council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain43/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution31/1006.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions28/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires21/1003.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson17/1004.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills8/1003.2 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour5/1006.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 8 | Gosport | 28 |
| 9 | Totton | 28 |
| 10 | Petersfield | 26 |
| 11 | Aldershot | 23 |
| 12 | Tadley | 22 |
| 13 | Fareham | 20 |
| 14 | Lymington | 18 |
| 15 | Emsworth | 17 |
| 16 | Waterlooville | 14 |
Tadley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 39.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 49% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 80 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 54.2 per 10,000 people, 15.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.7 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.50pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 4.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 74% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,620 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Basingstoke and Deane council
- £2,255 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £137 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Tadley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.