Crap Towns / Hampshire / Aldershot
Aldershot
23/100Crap Score
756th crappest of 984 towns, and 11th in Hampshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Everyone calls it Aldershit. Fair.
Soldiers everywhere, shops nowhere. M&S packed up and left. Smart move.
Aldershot's got the Army and not a lot else. M&S buggered off, the shops are empty and the regeneration's been on its way for so long that whole regiments have come and gone waiting for it. Locals call it Aldershit and they're not wrong. Woking fans call it worse, but they live in Woking.
Mind the food. Nearly three times the typical town's share of its kitchens are rated 0 to 2, so the dodgy kebab isn't just a rumour. There are 28 hairdressers and 5 bookmakers, so you can get a skin fade and lose your wages on the same street, and Halifax and NatWest have both shut up shop to make room.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Aldershot's 92 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Food hygiene92/1006.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 224 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution60/1009.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions59/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson44/1006.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain31/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour24/10010.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping17/1005.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Rushmoor council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills17/10031.1 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband13/1003.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.8% across the Rushmoor council area
- Deliberate fires10/1002.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 7 | Eastleigh | 29 |
| 8 | Gosport | 28 |
| 9 | Totton | 28 |
| 10 | Petersfield | 26 |
| 11 | Aldershot | 23 |
| 12 | Tadley | 22 |
| 13 | Fareham | 20 |
| 14 | Lymington | 18 |
| 15 | Emsworth | 17 |
Aldershot by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 89.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 18% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 109 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 27.4 per 10,000 people, 8.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 12 pubs, 28 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 5 bookmakers, 3 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3.9% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 26) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 5.0 per 100,000 people, 47% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 13% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.54am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 11.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 29% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,626 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Rushmoor council
- £2,320 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £72 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Aldershot against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.