Crap Towns / Hampshire / Ashley
Ashley
9/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 9. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Ashley? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Where? Oh, New Milton.
A parade of shops, a rec and some old pillboxes. New Milton on every side.
Ashley's a crossroads with a few shops, and New Milton has grown right round it. Locals still reckon it's its own place. It isn't. There are some wartime pillboxes waiting for an invasion. Nobody's coming. There's 1 pub, the buses stop at 7.47pm, and the only excitement is some knob taking the bend at Miller Close like it's Brands Hatch.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Ashley's 86 for broadband means it's crapper than 86% of towns.
- Broadband86/10013.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 22.6% across the New Forest council area
- Sewage spills59/100
- Rain38/100123 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions35/1001.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene32/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 26 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping30/1006.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, New Forest council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution17/1005.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson10/1004.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires5/1001.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour0/1003.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 22 | Farnborough | 10 |
| 23 | West End | 10 |
| 24 | Locks Heath | 9 |
| 25 | Alton | 9 |
| – | Ashley | 9 |
| 26 | Hythe and Dibden Purlieu | 6 |
| 27 | South Hayling | 5 |
| 28 | Hedge End | 4 |
| 29 | Horndean | 3 |
Ashley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 39.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 49% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 53 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 68.6 per 10,000 people, 20.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.47pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 32% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,806 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 18% higher than the typical town's 1,532
New Forest council
- £2,420 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £28 more than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 2 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Ashley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.