Crap Towns / Hampshire / Hythe and Dibden Purlieu
Hythe and Dibden Purlieu
6/100Crap Score
929th crappest of 984 towns, and 26th in Hampshire. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
A toy train and sod all else.
Hythe's got a tiny railway on its pier. It's been trying to get a real one for years.
Hythe and Dibden Purlieu sit on the edge of the New Forest across the water from Southampton, and they're perfectly nice. There's a little train on the pier and a ferry that might stop running. The real railway's long gone, and the campaign to bring it back has been going for years. There's nothing to do at night.
It grew on the back of the refinery down the road, which nobody puts on the postcards. Two in five people live more than 400 metres from the nearest park or playground, in a place that won't shut up about the New Forest. Everyone walks in the Forest. They have to.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hythe and Dibden Purlieu's 82 for broadband means it's crapper than 82% of towns.
- Broadband82/10010.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 22.6% across the New Forest council area
- Rain42/100124 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson39/1006.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution36/1007.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires33/1004.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene31/1001.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 78 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping30/1006.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, New Forest council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions19/1001.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills6/1001.1 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour5/1006.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 22 | Farnborough | 10 |
| 23 | West End | 10 |
| 24 | Locks Heath | 9 |
| 25 | Alton | 9 |
| 26 | Hythe and Dibden Purlieu | 6 |
| 27 | South Hayling | 5 |
| 28 | Hedge End | 4 |
| 29 | Horndean | 3 |
| 30 | Chandler's Ford | 3 |
Hythe and Dibden Purlieu by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 55.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 28% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 93 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 46.8 per 10,000 people, 13.8x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 1 vape shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 11) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 5.0 per 100,000 people, 47% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 25% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 43% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.52am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 40.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,730 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 13% higher than the typical town's 1,532
New Forest council
- £2,420 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £28 more than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 2 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Hythe and Dibden Purlieu against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.