Crap Towns / Somerset / Somerton
Somerton
19/100Crap Score
Known as Scumerton.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 19. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Somerton? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Watch the train go past. Wave.
The railway runs straight through Somerton. It just doesn't stop.
Somerton was the county town of Somerset centuries ago and it hasn't let it go. It's a pretty stone place with a Buttercross in the square and very little crime, and the trains run right through it without stopping. The storm overflows go off for nearly 14 times the typical town's hours, and only 20.9% of premises can get gigabit. Lorries bomb down North Street. County town, mind.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Somerton's 99 for broadband means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Broadband99/10079.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.3% across the Somerset council area
- Sewage spills99/1003,788 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain44/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions34/1001.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene25/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 40 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires20/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping19/1006.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Somerset council area, 2023-24 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson16/1004.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution14/1004.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour12/1008.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 8 | Yeovil | 34 |
| 9 | Minehead | 33 |
| 10 | Frome | 31 |
| 11 | Wellington | 27 |
| – | Somerton | 19 |
| 12 | Street | 17 |
| 13 | Portishead | 16 |
| 14 | Wells | 15 |
| 15 | Burnham-on-Sea | 11 |
Somerton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 50.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 34% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.9 per 10,000 people, 15% higher than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 1 hairdresser, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.9 per 10,000 people, 2.4x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.08pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 30% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,619 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Somerset council
Have a crap-off
Somerton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.