Crap Towns / Cumbria / Seaton
Seaton
25/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 25. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Seaton? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Workington's getting closer
A quiet village with salmon in the river and Workington getting closer every year.
Seaton sits over the Derwent from Workington and spends most of its energy making sure everyone knows it isn't Workington. Every new estate brings the two a bit closer together, and Seaton watches each one go up like the end of the world is coming. Crime's next to nothing. Nobody gets robbed and nobody gets their bike nicked. Annoying, frankly.
Then there's the river. The storm overflows round Seaton spilled for 4,495 hours per 10,000 people a year, more than sixteen times the typical town. A village famous for its salmon, and the salmon are swimming in shit.
It's wet on 158 days a year and the last bus on a Wednesday leaves at 7.17pm. Miss it and the only way out is to walk, wet through, and the nearest place to walk to is Workington.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Seaton's 99 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Sewage spills99/1004,495 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain81/100158 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping63/10012.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cumberland council area, 2023-24 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires60/1007.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband47/1004.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 15.2% across the Cumberland council area
- Food hygiene42/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 10 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions9/1000.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson2/1002.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution1/1003.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour0/1002.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Whitehaven | 75 |
| 2 | Workington | 75 |
| 3 | Barrow-in-Furness | 65 |
| 4 | Carlisle | 62 |
| 5 | Ulverston | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Penrith | 25 |
| – | Seaton | 25 |
| 7 | Kendal | 20 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Seaton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 27.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 64% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 5 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 9.9 per 10,000 people, 2.9x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.17pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 39% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,504 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cumberland council
Have a crap-off
Seaton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.