Crap Towns / Hampshire / Hook
Hook
9/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 9. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Big night out: the fun run
Hook's a commuter village with a common and a fun run. That's the excitement.
Hook used to be a stop on the coach road to Exeter. Now it's a stop on the train to Waterloo. No crime to speak of, nothing set on fire, and the big event is the fun run. The moans are new houses with no new shops, and the whole place jamming solid the minute anything goes wrong on the roads nearby.
The last bus home is at 8.24pm, so a night out in Hook finishes before it starts. There's no public pool. Everyone just goes for a jog. Thrilling.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hook's 64 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 64% of towns.
- Fly-tipping64/10013.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Hart council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband58/1007.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 13.1% across the Hart council area
- Food hygiene57/1004.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 25 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution37/1007.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain32/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions20/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills18/10035.7 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson4/1003.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires3/1001.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour0/1004.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 22 | Farnborough | 10 |
| 23 | West End | 10 |
| 24 | Locks Heath | 9 |
| 25 | Alton | 9 |
| – | Hook | 9 |
| 26 | Hythe and Dibden Purlieu | 6 |
| 27 | South Hayling | 5 |
| 28 | Hedge End | 4 |
| 29 | Horndean | 3 |
Hook by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 42.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 44% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 29 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 32.0 per 10,000 people, 9.4x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 6 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.3 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.24pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 13.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 14% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,693 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 11% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Hart council
- £2,400 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £8 more than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Hook against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.