Crap Towns / Derbyshire / Hilton
Hilton
2/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 2. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Hilton. Not the hotel.
An old army depot turned into a massive estate that still calls itself a village.
Hilton was an army vehicle depot, and now it's a giant estate that insists it's a village. Nobody nicks anything, nobody sets fire to anything and nobody fly-tips. With nothing else to get angry about, the locals save it all for Main Street, where the lorries squeeze past the pavements and people park on the zigzags.
The one properly grim thing is the sewage. The overflows nearby spill for 2.7 times as long as the typical town's. There's no swimming pool, no charity shop, no bookies and no Greggs, which some people would call a village and others would call a show home. They're building more houses.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hilton's 75 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 75% of towns.
- Sewage spills75/100731 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain50/100128 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband48/1008.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.4% across the South Derbyshire council area
- Food hygiene36/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 19 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution34/1006.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping14/1005.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Derbyshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson5/1003.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour1/1005.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires1/1000.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions1/1000.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 12 | Buxton | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Hadfield | 36 |
| 14 | Long Eaton | 33 |
| 15 | Brimington | 22 |
| 16 | Glossop | 16 |
| 17 | Swadlincote | 14 |
| 18 | Belper | 8 |
| 19 | Dronfield | 4 |
| – | Hilton | 2 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Hilton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 34.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 55% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 problem reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 94% lower than the typical town's 20.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 3 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.43pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 35% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,499 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Derbyshire council
- £2,340 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £52 less than the English average
- 15% of Derbyshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Hilton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.