Something's on fire again.

Carlton in Lindrick has its own daffodil, a village green by the old mill and a bike named after it, the Carlton Flyer. It also has someone who can't walk past a patch of dry grass without setting fire to it. The fire brigade gets called to deliberate fires at six times the typical town's rate, and they went up again last year. Fields, woods, verges. Whatever's going.

Firbeck pit shut years ago, so the smoke's all amateur now. There's no public park and no pool, and they're building more houses without asking the doctors. Bassetlaw can't be arsed to recycle, and charges well over the odds in council tax for not bothering.

The editor, who smelt smoke at the bus stop