Crap Towns / Tyne and Wear / Boldon Colliery
Boldon Colliery
78/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 78. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Boldon Colliery? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Boldon. Bookies and a Cineworld.
They turned the pit into a wood. Some bastard keeps dumping sofas in it.
Boldon Colliery planted a wood on the old pit, which was a nice idea, and the fly-tippers have been treating it as a skip ever since. Then the local yobs set fire to what they've dumped. The fire brigade gets called to deliberate fires at about ten times the typical town's rate, and the grass and woods go up at about sixteen times.
The water company lets sewage out nearby for nearly seven times as long as in the typical town, so the River Don's had it too. There's 3 swimming pools for a place this size, mind. The terraces are fine, the pubs and the bookie are open, and the leisure park's got a Cineworld. That's your lot.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Boldon Colliery's 98 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Deliberate fires98/10057.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills93/1001,872 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping91/10027.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Tyneside council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson78/1009.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour65/10017.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution57/10010.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions37/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain32/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene29/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 31 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband20/1002.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.1% across the South Tyneside council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Gateshead | 90 |
| 6 | Tynemouth | 89 |
| 7 | Sunderland | 87 |
| 8 | Jarrow | 82 |
| – | Boldon Colliery | 78 |
| 9 | Hebburn | 75 |
| 10 | Houghton-le-Spring | 73 |
| 11 | Birtley | 69 |
| 12 | Longbenton | 61 |
Boldon Colliery by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 94.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 24% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 6.6 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 7 hairdressers, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) About the same: 1.6 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 4.9 per 10,000 people, 7x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.14am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 13.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 13% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,548 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Tyneside council
- £2,434 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £42 more than the English average
- 15% of South Tyneside council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- 7 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Boldon Colliery against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.