Crap Towns / Tyne and Wear / Hebburn
Hebburn
75/100Crap Score
247th crappest of 984 towns, and 9th in Tyne and Wear. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Not as funny as the telly
The shipyards went. The vandals and fly-tippers didn't.
Hebburn built ships, then got a telly sitcom named after it, which is the most attention it's had since. There's trouble in the town centre, and every new housing plan has locals asking where the bloody GP's coming from.
The bins go up in flames at over thirteen times the typical town's rate. The storm overflows nearby spill for nearly eight times as long as the typical town's, and the fly-tipping's well up there too. Nobody crashes, to be fair. Serious crashes are a quarter of the typical town's. Nobody's in a hurry to get anywhere in Hebburn.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hebburn's 96 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Deliberate fires96/10036.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills94/1002,159 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping91/10027.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Tyneside council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson85/10010.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene65/1003.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 78 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution60/10011.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour58/10016.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain32/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband29/1004.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.1% across the South Tyneside council area
- Serious road collisions0/1000.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Gateshead | 90 |
| 6 | Tynemouth | 89 |
| 7 | Sunderland | 87 |
| 8 | Jarrow | 82 |
| 9 | Hebburn | 75 |
| 10 | Houghton-le-Spring | 73 |
| 11 | Birtley | 69 |
| 12 | Longbenton | 61 |
| 13 | Washington | 57 |
Hebburn by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 78.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical town's 1.1
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 11 pubs, 17 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 2 bookmakers, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 10.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 10) Worse: 2.5x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 69% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.22am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 95% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,517 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Tyneside council
- £2,434 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £42 more than the English average
- 15% of South Tyneside council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- 7 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Hebburn against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.