Crap Towns / Tyne and Wear / Tynemouth
Tynemouth
89/100Crap Score
108th crappest of 984 towns, and 6th in Tyne and Wear. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Wrong zone, mate.
Lovely beach, posh pubs and the price of a house. Then there's the sewage and the aggro.
Tynemouth calls itself the Geordie Riviera, with Longsands, a castle and pubs full of people in nice coats. Then you drive round for ages looking for a space that isn't in the wrong zone, outside houses that cost a fortune.
Tynemouth Cullercoats was rated Poor for bathing in 2025, and sewage comes out of the overflows nearby for over four times as long as in the typical town. The bins go up in flames at about eleven times the typical town's rate, and shoplifting is up at more than twice. Whitley Bay would love to be this posh. Riviera? Do one.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Tynemouth's 95 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Deliberate fires95/10033.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson91/10011.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour87/10024.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills86/1001,168 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping81/10019.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, North Tyneside council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution62/10012.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene58/1002.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 394 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband49/1009.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.9% across the North Tyneside council area
- Serious road collisions36/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain26/100119 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Wallsend | 97 |
| 3 | South Shields | 94 |
| 4 | Blaydon | 92 |
| 5 | Gateshead | 90 |
| 6 | Tynemouth | 89 |
| 7 | Sunderland | 87 |
| 8 | Jarrow | 82 |
| 9 | Hebburn | 75 |
| 10 | Houghton-le-Spring | 73 |
Tynemouth by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 98.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 30% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 60 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 9.9 per 10,000 people, 2.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
- 4 of 7 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025; 2 rated Poor
What's left on the high street
- 46 pubs, 65 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 6 bookmakers, 5 vape shops, 5 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 54) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 1.7 per 100,000 people, 50% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 16 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.6 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.28am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 48% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,572 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
North Tyneside council
- £2,462 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £70 more than the English average
- 8% of North Tyneside council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 16 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Tynemouth against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.