Crap Towns / Tyne and Wear / Blaydon
Blaydon
92/100Crap Score
Joint 75th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Tyne and Wear. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Nobody's singing about the precinct.
Everyone knows the song. Nobody's seen the shopping precinct, and you shouldn't.
Everyone's heard of the Blaydon Races. Go now and you'd race to get out. The precinct is grim, and the landfill stank so badly it made the serious pollution record. Then there's Blaydon Bank to walk up, just to finish you off.
The storm drains nearby chuck out sewage for over twelve times as long as the typical town's. Fucking hell. Fires get started on purpose at nine times the typical town's rate, and the shoplifting's over five times. There's 6 Greggs, which per head is about fourteen times the typical town's, so at least you know what's getting nicked.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Blaydon's 98 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Sewage spills98/1003,460 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires98/10051.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson96/10014.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour93/10028.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping90/10027.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Gateshead council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions59/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband58/1009.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.6% across the Gateshead council area
- Rain46/100126 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution32/1007.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene12/1001.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 197 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Newcastle upon Tyne | 99 |
| 2 | Wallsend | 97 |
| 3 | South Shields | 94 |
| 4 | Blaydon | 92 |
| 5 | Gateshead | 90 |
| 6 | Tynemouth | 89 |
| 7 | Sunderland | 87 |
| 8 | Jarrow | 82 |
| 9 | Hebburn | 75 |
Blaydon by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 136 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 59% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2019
What's left on the high street
- 15 pubs, 20 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 3 banks, 6 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 24) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 7.0 per 100,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.5 per 10,000 people, 2.2x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 3x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.21am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 22.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 44% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,497 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Gateshead council
Have a crap-off
Blaydon against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.