Crap Towns / Tyne and Wear / Newcastle upon Tyne
Newcastle upon Tyne
99/100Crap Score
People from here are Geordies.
10th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in Tyne and Wear. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Nobody's wearing a coat, man
Great city, great night out, and fly-tipping at nearly five times the typical council's.
Newcastle has the Tyne Bridge, the Quayside, the Toon and a night out where nobody wears a coat. The Tyne Bridge is wrapped in roadworks and the Metro breaks down. It's the crappest town in Tyne and Wear, which with Sunderland in it is some going.
The council's fly-tipping runs at nearly five times the typical council's, and it recycles about a quarter of the bins. 10 swimming pools have shut since 2010, and 23 of its 240 rated takeaways score 0 to 2, so the scran after the Bigg Market's a gamble. Still better than Sunderland, they say. Every time.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Newcastle upon Tyne's 98 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Fly-tipping98/10051.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Newcastle upon Tyne council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires96/10034.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene95/1006.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 1,843 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour93/10029.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson90/10011.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions71/1003.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills64/100478 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution64/10012.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband53/1008.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.8% across the Newcastle upon Tyne council area
- Rain37/100123 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Newcastle upon Tyne | 99 |
| 2 | Wallsend | 97 |
| 3 | South Shields | 94 |
| 4 | Blaydon | 92 |
| 5 | Gateshead | 90 |
| 6 | Tynemouth | 89 |
| 7 | Sunderland | 87 |
| 8 | Jarrow | 82 |
| 9 | Hebburn | 75 |
Newcastle upon Tyne by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 119 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 76.2
- 23 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 76% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 14 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 165 pubs, 193 hairdressers, 39 charity shops, 35 bookmakers, 14 vape shops, 23 banks, 34 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 9.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (23 of 240) Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 4.0%
- 9 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 3.1 per 100,000 people, 9% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 36 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 19% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 11 public swimming pools open; 10 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 11 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.25am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 5.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 13.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 14% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,495 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Newcastle upon Tyne council
- £2,542 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £150 more than the English average
- 15% of Newcastle upon Tyne council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- 9 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Newcastle upon Tyne against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.