Object first, read later.

The Boldons are in the Boldon Book, the north's Domesday, and they'll tell you. Stone cottages, big old villas and plenty of pubs. The through traffic never stops and you can't park near the shops. Show anyone here a housing plan and they'll object before you've unfolded it. Meanwhile some sod's dumped a sofa in the lane.

Somebody's setting fire to the village character as well. The deliberate fires come in at over eight times the typical town's rate, and the grass and woods go up at about fifteen times. East Boldon's own conservation area is on the Heritage at Risk list, so they're objecting to the wrong thing. Both public pools have shut since 2010. There's 7 pubs to object in.

The editor, who couldn't park near the shops