Crap Towns / Warwickshire / Bidford-on-Avon
Bidford-on-Avon
16/100Crap Score
Known as Drunken Bidford.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 16. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Drink. You'll need it on the diversion.
An old bridge someone's always crashing into and a river full of shit.
Bidford's been called Drunken Bidford for centuries and has done bugger all to change it. The old bridge is the only way over the Avon, some idiot in a van keeps hitting it, then it's shut and you're going round half of Warwickshire to get to the other side.
The Avon itself gets it worse. The sewers within a kilometre overflow for 11 times as long as the typical town's. Stick to the beer. The drinking's not what it was, mind: 4 buses leave after 7pm on a Wednesday and the last one goes at 7.46pm. Drunken Bidford, tucked up by eight.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bidford-on-Avon's 98 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Sewage spills98/1003,043 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene60/1005.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 20 food businesses with a rating
- Rain39/100123 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour32/10012.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband28/1000.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.7% across the Stratford-on-Avon council area
- Deliberate fires25/1003.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution21/1004.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions20/1001.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson13/1004.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping4/1003.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Stratford-on-Avon council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Bedworth | 70 |
| 2 | Warwick | 64 |
| 3 | Nuneaton | 62 |
| 4 | Rugby | 54 |
| 5 | Royal Leamington Spa | 46 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Stratford-upon-Avon | 37 |
| 7 | Kenilworth | 26 |
| – | Bidford-on-Avon | 16 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Bidford-on-Avon by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 45.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 13 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 22.3 per 10,000 people, 6.6x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 6% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.46pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,528 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Stratford-on-Avon council
- £2,484 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £92 more than the English average
- 13% of Warwickshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 19% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bidford-on-Avon against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.