Crap Towns / Hampshire / Barton on Sea
Barton on Sea
1/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 1. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Nothing to moan about but campervans
Nice clifftop, view of the Needles, and the cliff keeps falling off. It's had the tennis courts.
Barton on Sea? Full of people in fleeces staring at the Needles. No crime, no yobs, no sewage, no nothing, so they moan about campervans parked on Marine Drive instead. Meanwhile the actual cliff is falling into the actual sea. It's had the tennis courts already. Nobody's moaning about that. Campervans, though.
Crime's under a third of the typical town's. The last bus goes at 6.43pm, which round here is nearly bedtime anyway. A quarter of premises can't get gigabit broadband, so the grandkids' video call freezes on a shot of the Needles.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Barton on Sea's 96 for broadband means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Broadband96/10025.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 22.6% across the New Forest council area
- Food hygiene33/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 24 food businesses with a rating
- Rain31/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping30/1006.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, New Forest council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution17/1005.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills16/10026.2 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Deliberate fires8/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions8/1000.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson0/1002.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour0/1002.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 24 | Locks Heath | 9 |
| 25 | Alton | 9 |
| 26 | Hythe and Dibden Purlieu | 6 |
| 27 | South Hayling | 5 |
| 28 | Hedge End | 4 |
| 29 | Horndean | 3 |
| 30 | Chandler's Ford | 3 |
| – | Barton on Sea | 1 |
| 31 | Lee-on-the-Solent | 0 |
Barton on Sea by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 21.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 72% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 34 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 50.3 per 10,000 people, 14.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 of 3 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 6% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 6.43pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 5.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 78.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 5.1x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,839 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 20% higher than the typical town's 1,532
New Forest council
- £2,420 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £28 more than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 2 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Barton on Sea against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.