Crap Towns / Hampshire / Whiteley
Whiteley
17/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 17. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Whiteley? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Still in the car park. Send help.
Whiteley is a planned town with a shopping centre. They didn't plan the exits.
Whiteley is a new town built round a shopping centre and some office parks, with ancient woodland left in between and bronze animals dotted round the shops. It's tidy, it's safe, it's got a Greggs. You just can't get out. The car parks jam, the parking rules catch everyone out and there's no phone signal by the shops.
Try the bus instead. On a Sunday there's barely one. And 58 premises can't even get the legal minimum broadband speed, so you can't order anything in either. The kids have nearly four times the typical town's play spaces per head, which is handy, because they'll be living there.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Whiteley's 68 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 68% of towns.
- Deliberate fires68/1009.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills65/100493 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Air pollution55/1009.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain45/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene41/1001.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 57 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour32/10012.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson31/1005.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband31/1007.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 2.3% across the Fareham council area
- Serious road collisions22/1001.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping1/1002.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Fareham council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | Aldershot | 23 |
| 12 | Tadley | 22 |
| 13 | Fareham | 20 |
| 14 | Lymington | 18 |
| – | Whiteley | 17 |
| 15 | Emsworth | 17 |
| 16 | Waterlooville | 14 |
| 17 | Fleet | 14 |
| 18 | Yateley | 12 |
Whiteley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 61.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 19% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 31 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 33.2 per 10,000 people, 9.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.12pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 5.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 8.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 47% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,692 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Fareham council
- £2,271 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £121 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Whiteley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.