Crap Towns / West Yorkshire / Todmorden
Todmorden
70/100Crap Score
298th crappest of 984 towns, and 22nd in West Yorkshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Even the aliens left
Tod has free veg outside the police station and a lot of UFO stories.
Todmorden has UFO sightings, an alien abduction story and free vegetables growing outside the police station. Walsden's library has gone. The high street is vape shops, charity shops and pubs. It floods, and the locals fight it out in Facebook groups that ban people for breathing. Even the aliens didn't stay.
It pisses down on 176 days a year and the sun puts in 1,315 hours. 6.4% of the food places score 0 to 2, so you're safer with the free veg. Halifax has gone and left a banking hub. There's 22 pubs, three and a half times the typical town's per head, so there's always somewhere to dry off.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Todmorden's 96 for rain means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Rain96/100176 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene86/1006.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 110 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband80/10015.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 12.1% across the Calderdale council area
- Serious road collisions78/1003.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires66/1008.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills65/100502 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson63/1008.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour35/1008.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution22/1006.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping20/1006.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Calderdale council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 18 | Bingley | 80 |
| 19 | Liversedge | 80 |
| 20 | Gomersal and Birkenshaw | 79 |
| 21 | Pudsey | 72 |
| 22 | Todmorden | 70 |
| 23 | Normanton | 68 |
| 24 | Featherstone | 68 |
| 25 | Brighouse | 66 |
| 26 | Morley | 66 |
Todmorden by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 102 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 34% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 6 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 4.6 per 10,000 people, 35% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 22 pubs, 15 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 vape shops on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 19) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 7.7 per 100,000 people, 2.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 library shut for good since 2010: Walsden Library (2019)
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 6% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.52pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,315 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 14% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Calderdale council
- £2,420 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £28 more than the English average
- 23% of Calderdale council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 44% higher than England's 16%
- 8 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Todmorden against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.