Crap Towns / Tyne and Wear / Throckley
Throckley
83/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 83. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Who's that landing on the roof?
A pit village under the airport flightpath, with more vandals and fly-tippers than it needs.
Throckley is an old pit village with the Roman Wall buried under Hexham Road and planes coming in low over the roofs to land at the airport. That's the noise. They used to give the pit horses a ride downhill in a cart. Lucky horses. Nobody gives you a lift now.
Things go up in flames at over ten times the typical town's rate, the bins at about nineteen times, and Newcastle's fly-tipping is nearly five times the typical council's. There's no public park on the map, no swimming pool and 1 pub. A major pollution incident put crude sewage in the water in 2025. There's a bookie, mind.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Throckley's 98 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Deliberate fires98/10058.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping98/10051.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Newcastle upon Tyne council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour89/10026.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson88/10011.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband75/10014.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.8% across the Newcastle upon Tyne council area
- Food hygiene62/1006.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 15 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills62/100451 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain32/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution28/1007.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions11/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Blaydon | 92 |
| 5 | Gateshead | 90 |
| 6 | Tynemouth | 89 |
| 7 | Sunderland | 87 |
| – | Throckley | 83 |
| 8 | Jarrow | 82 |
| 9 | Hebburn | 75 |
| 10 | Houghton-le-Spring | 73 |
| 11 | Birtley | 69 |
Throckley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 73.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 6.4 per 10,000 people, 9.1x the typical town's 0.7
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 4 hairdressers, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) About the same: 1.6 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.44pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 51.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 3.3x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,505 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Newcastle upon Tyne council
- £2,542 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £150 more than the English average
- 15% of Newcastle upon Tyne council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- 9 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Throckley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.