Crap Towns / Kent / Rochester
Rochester
72/100Crap Score
280th crappest of 984 towns, and 9th in Kent. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Lost its city status.
Rochester was a city for centuries. Then the council lost the paperwork. Medway, eh.
Rochester has a Norman castle, a cathedral and a lovely old High Street, and it was a city for centuries until the council lost the status in a reorganisation. Nobody noticed for four years. Chatham's still laughing. Every May the Morris dancers come out for Sweeps, and the rest of the year the High Street gets rowdy at night anyway.
Medway's fly-tippers dumped 682 loads the size of a tipper lorry or bigger in a year, and it cost £240,680 to clear. Rochester has 35 pubs and 1 Greggs, which is the poshest thing about it.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Rochester's 88 for air pollution means it's crapper than 88% of towns.
- Air pollution88/10012.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions86/1003.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping81/10019.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Medway council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson67/1008.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour63/10017.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband63/10010.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 9.6% across the Medway council area
- Food hygiene36/1002.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 402 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires29/1004.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills26/10069.7 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Rain15/100115 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Northfleet | 75 |
| 6 | Sittingbourne | 74 |
| 7 | Gravesend | 73 |
| 8 | Dover | 72 |
| 9 | Rochester | 72 |
| 10 | Maidstone | 69 |
| 11 | Gillingham | 69 |
| 12 | Ramsgate | 67 |
| 13 | Folkestone | 65 |
Rochester by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 89.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 17% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 225 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 33.4 per 10,000 people, 9.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 35 pubs, 25 hairdressers, 14 charity shops, 5 bookmakers, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 58) Better: 58% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 4.5 per 100,000 people, 32% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 library shut for good since 2010: Thomas Aveling School & Community Library (2017)
- 13 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 9 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.01am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3x the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,700 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 11% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Medway council
Have a crap-off
Rochester against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.