Crap Towns / Kent / Maidstone
Maidstone
69/100Crap Score
Locals call it Maidy. Neighbours call it Maidscum.
303rd crappest of 984 towns, and 10th in Kent. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
County town. Really.
Kent's county town has a dinosaur on its coat of arms and a town centre going downhill fast.
Maidstone's the county town of Kent and has a dinosaur on its coat of arms, because they dug one up once. The town centre's going downhill, with more anti-social behaviour and smashed windows than you'd want. They keep building houses and no roads to go with them. Rearrange the letters and you get I am stoned. Explains the planning.
Oddly for a county town on the slide, it's got hardly any charity shops or bookies, just 47 pubs. And 75 premises fall short of even the legal minimum broadband speed, so there's no streaming your way out of it. Gillingham fans have their own name for the place. So do the people who live in it.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Maidstone's 83 for criminal damage and arson means it's crapper than 83% of towns.
- Criminal damage and arson83/10010.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband83/10013.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 19.5% across the Maidstone council area
- Air pollution81/10010.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour76/10020.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping70/10015.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Maidstone council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions62/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene45/1002.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 648 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires39/1005.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain16/100116 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills14/10017.4 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Sittingbourne | 74 |
| 7 | Gravesend | 73 |
| 8 | Dover | 72 |
| 9 | Rochester | 72 |
| 10 | Maidstone | 69 |
| 11 | Gillingham | 69 |
| 12 | Ramsgate | 67 |
| 13 | Folkestone | 65 |
| 14 | Herne Bay | 64 |
Maidstone by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 96.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 26% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 11 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 71% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 47 pubs, 13 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 10 banks, 4 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 76) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 0.9 per 100,000 people, 74% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 30 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.7 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical town's 1.6
- 9 public swimming pools open; 3 closed for good since 2010 Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 4 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.48pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 5.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 41% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,686 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Maidstone council
Have a crap-off
Maidstone against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.