Crap Towns / Dyfed / Pembroke Dock
Pembroke Dock
79/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 79. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Should've left in it.
They built the Millennium Falcon here. Nobody used it to escape.
Pembroke Dock built the Millennium Falcon for the films in an old hangar, and the locals still haven't forgiven it for not taking them along. The shops are derelict, you pay to park outside them, and Fort Road is a racetrack with horns.
Criminal damage is up at nearly twice the typical town's rate and sewage comes out of the overflows for eight times as long as in the typical town. The last bus is at 8pm and there's nothing on a Sunday. The ferry to Ireland is right there.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Pembroke Dock's 95 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Sewage spills95/1002,184 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson94/10013.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband82/1007.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 30.8% across the Pembrokeshire council area
- Anti-social behaviour82/10015.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain79/100155 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene64/1003.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 82 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions62/1002.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Fly-tipping15/1005.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Pembrokeshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution2/1004.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Carmarthen | 91 |
| 2 | Llanelli | 90 |
| 3 | Milford Haven | 87 |
| 4 | Haverfordwest | 84 |
| – | Pembroke Dock | 79 |
| 5 | Aberystwyth | 78 |
Pembroke Dock by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 116 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 4.1 per 10,000 people, 21% higher than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 2 charity shops on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 13) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 10.4 per 100,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 31% higher than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 5.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 63% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,584 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Pembrokeshire council
Have a crap-off
Pembroke Dock against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.