Crap Towns / Dyfed / Carmarthen
Carmarthen
91/100Crap Score
85th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in Dyfed. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Carmarthen? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
The oak's doing better than the town
Carmarthen's got Roman ruins and a wizard's oak. It's also got vandals and sewage.
Carmarthen reckons it's the oldest town in Wales, with the Roman bits to prove it, and a legend that the town falls when Merlin's oak does. The oak's in a glass case. The town's having a go anyway.
You get rain on 176 days a year, and the storm overflows spill into the Towy for nearly 12 times as long per head as the typical town's. Criminal damage runs at nearly twice the typical town's rate. Carmarthen comes out the crappest town in Dyfed, which takes some doing with Llanelli down the road. And the roadworks have been there so long they should be listed.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Carmarthen's 98 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Sewage spills98/1003,206 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain96/100176 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband95/10021.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 27.0% across the Carmarthenshire council area
- Criminal damage and arson93/10012.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour79/10014.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions78/1003.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping77/10017.8 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Carmarthenshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Food hygiene10/1001.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 211 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution4/1004.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Carmarthen | 91 |
| 2 | Llanelli | 90 |
| 3 | Milford Haven | 87 |
| 4 | Haverfordwest | 84 |
| 5 | Aberystwyth | 78 |
Carmarthen by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 136 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 76.2
- 14 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 8.5 per 10,000 people, 2.5x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 18 pubs, 16 hairdressers, 8 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 8 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 18) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 12.2 per 100,000 people, 3.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 8 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.9 per 10,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.57am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 45.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.9x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,547 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Carmarthenshire council
Have a crap-off
Carmarthen against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.