Crap Towns / Dyfed / Llanelli
Llanelli
90/100Crap Score
Known as Tinopolis.
97th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in Dyfed. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Llanelli. Everyone's gone to Trostre.
The rugby's great. The town centre's boarded up and the shoppers have gone to Trostre.
Llanelli sings about saucepans at the rugby and is very proud of the Scarlets. The town centre's another story. The shoppers went to Trostre, the big chains left, even Aldi shut, and what's left is boarded-up shops and vape shops.
Criminal damage is running at nearly twice the typical town's rate and it's rising, and the roads see serious crashes at 1.7 times. It pisses down on 166 days a year. The last bus pulls out at 10.07pm, so you can't even escape to Trostre late. Carmarthen pipped it to crappest in Dyfed by a whisker. Just don't mention Swansea.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Llanelli's 95 for criminal damage and arson means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Criminal damage and arson95/10013.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions91/1004.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain89/100166 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour88/10017.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping77/10017.8 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Carmarthenshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband75/1005.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 27.0% across the Carmarthenshire council area
- Sewage spills75/100718 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Air pollution8/1005.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene7/1001.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 306 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Carmarthen | 91 |
| 2 | Llanelli | 90 |
| 3 | Milford Haven | 87 |
| 4 | Haverfordwest | 84 |
| 5 | Aberystwyth | 78 |
Llanelli by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 118 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 76.2
- 86 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 20.4 per 10,000 people, 18.5x the typical town's 1.1
What's left on the high street
- 38 pubs, 37 hairdressers, 10 charity shops, 4 bookmakers, 6 vape shops, 8 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 41) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 7.1 per 100,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 13% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.07pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 33% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,514 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Carmarthenshire council
Have a crap-off
Llanelli against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.