Crap Towns / Dyfed / Milford Haven
Milford Haven
87/100Crap Score
Locals are called Fish heads.
129th crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Dyfed. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Milford Haven? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Marina's lovely. Don't turn round.
A smart marina, a load of oil refineries and a high street that's given up.
Milford Haven has a smart marina and oil refineries for a view. Walk up from the water and Charles Street is empty shops.
Criminal damage sits at over twice the typical town's rate, the roads see serious crashes at 1.8 times, and the storm drains chuck out sewage for over 11 times as long as the typical town's. All that, at the far end of Wales. The buses stop at 7.48pm and Sunday's a write-off. The Fish heads haven't had a lot to smile about.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Milford Haven's 98 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Sewage spills98/1003,150 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson97/10015.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions90/1004.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour88/10017.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband83/1007.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 30.8% across the Pembrokeshire council area
- Rain78/100154 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene54/1002.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 110 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Fly-tipping15/1005.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Pembrokeshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution3/1004.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Carmarthen | 91 |
| 2 | Llanelli | 90 |
| 3 | Milford Haven | 87 |
| 4 | Haverfordwest | 84 |
| 5 | Aberystwyth | 78 |
Milford Haven by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 132 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 76.2
- 7 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 4.9 per 10,000 people, 7x the typical town's 0.7
- 2 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 14.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 14) Worse: 3.6x the typical town's 4.0%
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.5 per 10,000 people, 2.2x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.48pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 11.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 26% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,622 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Pembrokeshire council
Have a crap-off
Milford Haven against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.