Crap Towns / Gwent / Monmouth
Monmouth
31/100Crap Score
677th crappest of 984 towns, and 13th in Gwent. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Monmouth? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
It's flooded again.
Lovely old bridge, lovely old town. The rivers keep coming in, and so does the sewage.
Monmouth has a medieval gatehouse on its bridge and has stuck QR codes on everything so you can read about it on your phone. Gigabit's on offer to 74.8% of premises, so good luck with that. Monnow Street is full of parked cars and the rivers keep flooding the place.
Halifax, HSBC and Lloyds have all shut, over eight times the typical town's rate of closures, and the charity shops are at nearly five times the typical town's per head. There's no park on the map and the buses stop at 9.24pm. Still pretty, mind.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Monmouth's 95 for broadband means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Broadband95/10025.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 21.0% across the Monmouthshire council area
- Sewage spills84/1001,045 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson51/1007.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Anti-social behaviour49/10015.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain45/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping23/1006.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Monmouthshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene23/1001.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 100 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions14/1001.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution12/1004.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Abertillery | 95 |
| 6 | Blackwood | 92 |
| 7 | Caerphilly | 88 |
| 8 | Pontypool | 86 |
| 9 | Ystrad Mynach | 85 |
| 10 | Cwmbrân | 75 |
| 11 | Chepstow | 59 |
| 12 | Abergavenny | 57 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Monmouth | 31 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Monmouth by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 77.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 59 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 57.1 per 10,000 people, 16.8x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 10 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 5 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 13) Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 29.1 per 100,000 people, 8.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.8 per 10,000 people, 3x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 9.24pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 50% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,554 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Monmouthshire council
Have a crap-off
Monmouth against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.