Crap Towns / Gloucestershire / Coleford
Coleford
63/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 63. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Coleford. Nobody gives a toss.
Clock tower on the Tump, empty shops round it, and far too much aggro.
Coleford has a clock tower on the Tump and empty shops round it. What's still open is hairdressers, vape shops, bookies and charity shops, with four times the typical town's hairdressers per head and nearly seven times its vape shops. Best-groomed town in the Forest, and nothing to get groomed for.
The aggro's worse than a little Forest town should have, with anti-social behaviour at nearly twice the typical town's rate and going up. There's no public pool and you pay to park. Locals reckon the council's forgotten them. They're probably right.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Coleford's 90 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 90% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour90/10027.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping75/10016.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Forest of Dean council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson74/1009.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain67/100140 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires65/1008.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband52/1002.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 20.5% across the Forest of Dean council area
- Serious road collisions50/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene24/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 41 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills17/10031.4 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Air pollution14/1004.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Filton | 70 |
| 2 | Gloucester | 66 |
| – | Coleford | 63 |
| 3 | Patchway | 57 |
| 4 | Cheltenham | 54 |
| 5 | Stroud | 44 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Kingswood and Fishponds | 39 |
| 7 | Tewkesbury | 38 |
| 8 | Quedgeley and Hardwicke | 37 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Coleford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 85.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 12% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 257 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 512 per 10,000 people, 150.6x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 9 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 10) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.0 per 10,000 people, 2.5x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.17am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,566 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Forest of Dean council
- £2,443 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £51 more than the English average
- 26% of Gloucestershire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 1.6x England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Coleford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.