Crap Towns / Gloucestershire / Tewkesbury
Tewkesbury
38/100Crap Score
608th crappest of 984 towns, and 7th in Gloucestershire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Tewkesbury. Wet again.
Timber frames, strong mustard and the Severn coming in the front door.
Tewkesbury sits where the Severn meets the Avon, which is lovely right up until both of them come into town. The roads flood, the telly shows it cut off and everyone assumes it's shut. Festival parking blocks the streets and the anti-social behaviour and sewage spills are worse than most.
The shops are charity shops, over six times the typical town's per head, and hairdressers. Even the Town Hall's on the Heritage at Risk list. Nice mustard.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Tewkesbury's 86 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 86% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour86/10024.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills84/1001,046 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband74/10012.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 12.3% across the Tewkesbury council area
- Criminal damage and arson55/1007.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution32/1006.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires30/1004.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain25/100119 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping24/1007.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Tewkesbury council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions23/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene4/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 121 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | Patchway | 57 |
| 4 | Cheltenham | 54 |
| 5 | Stroud | 44 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Kingswood and Fishponds | 39 |
| 7 | Tewkesbury | 38 |
| 8 | Quedgeley and Hardwicke | 37 |
| 9 | Cirencester | 36 |
| 10 | Brockworth | 31 |
| 11 | Yate | 31 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Tewkesbury by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 72.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 408 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 284 per 10,000 people, 83.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2022
What's left on the high street
- 13 pubs, 19 hairdressers, 13 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 12) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 6.9 per 100,000 people, 2x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.8 per 10,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 3x the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.03am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 18.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 17% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,589 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Tewkesbury council
- £2,341 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £51 less than the English average
- 26% of Gloucestershire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 1.6x England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Tewkesbury against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.