Crap Towns / Gwent / Abertillery
Abertillery
95/100Crap Score
48th crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Gwent. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Short back and sides, and nowt else.
Lovely old arcade. Fuck all to buy in it except a haircut.
Ever been to Abertillery? Nice Victorian arcade, and the only thing you can get in it is a haircut. The rest of the high street is pubs, Greggs and boarded windows, and the windows that aren't boarded have had a brick through them. Criminal damage runs at two and a half times the typical town's rate, so it's not bad luck.
Don't think a takeaway's the answer either. 28.6% of the rated ones score 0 to 2 for hygiene, over seven times the typical town's share. Lads on off-road bikes doing wheelies past the bus stop, and no park on the map for them to do it in instead. Cwmtillery lakes are nice. Go there.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Abertillery's 99 for broadband means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Broadband99/10044.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 22.4% across the Blaenau Gwent council area
- Criminal damage and arson98/10017.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour92/10028.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain83/100160 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills82/100943 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene80/1006.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 62 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping72/10015.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Blaenau Gwent council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Serious road collisions48/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution14/1005.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Tredegar | 98 |
| 2 | Newport | 97 |
| 3 | Risca | 96 |
| 4 | Ebbw Vale | 96 |
| 5 | Abertillery | 95 |
| 6 | Blackwood | 92 |
| 7 | Caerphilly | 88 |
| 8 | Pontypool | 86 |
| 9 | Ystrad Mynach | 85 |
Abertillery by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 121 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 41% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 28.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (4 of 14) Worse: 7.2x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 25% higher than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.07am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Better: 7% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,457 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Blaenau Gwent council
Have a crap-off
Abertillery against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.