Crap Towns / Gwent / Cwmbrân
Cwmbrân
75/100Crap Score
244th crappest of 984 towns, and 10th in Gwent. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Roundabouts and bother.
Cwmbran was planned from scratch. Somebody planned a lot of roundabouts and not much else.
Cwmbran's a new town, so somebody actually sat down and decided it should be like this. Roundabout after roundabout, a tower block, a shopping precinct with litter blowing round it, and criminal damage at 1.7 times the typical town's rate. Parking in town's free, fair play. Park under the station trees and the birds will shit all over your car.
The banks have announced 5 branch closures, and 149 premises can't even get the legal minimum broadband. Somebody planned all this on paper. They want shooting.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Cwmbrân's 91 for criminal damage and arson means it's crapper than 91% of towns.
- Criminal damage and arson91/10011.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills87/1001,238 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour84/10023.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain77/100153 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband66/1007.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.3% across the Torfaen council area
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Serious road collisions46/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping44/10010.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Torfaen council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene32/1001.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 274 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution31/1007.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Abertillery | 95 |
| 6 | Blackwood | 92 |
| 7 | Caerphilly | 88 |
| 8 | Pontypool | 86 |
| 9 | Ystrad Mynach | 85 |
| 10 | Cwmbrân | 75 |
| 11 | Chepstow | 59 |
| 12 | Abergavenny | 57 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Monmouth | 31 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Cwmbrân by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 111 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 46% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 22 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 4.7 per 10,000 people, 6.7x the typical town's 0.7
What's left on the high street
- 16 pubs, 16 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 4 vape shops, 8 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 37) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 5 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 10.6 per 100,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 9 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.23am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 25.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,533 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Torfaen council
Have a crap-off
Cwmbrân against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.