Crap Towns / Merseyside / Meols
Meols
29/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 29. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Paddle at your own risk
Spelt Meols, said Mells. The beach is lovely. The overflows are busy.
Meols is pronounced Mells and nobody from outside the Wirral ever gets it right. There's a lovely wide beach, an ancient port under the sand and a forest under the sea off Dove Point. Crime's next to nothing.
The storm overflows round Meols spilled for 3,034 hours per 10,000 people a year, eleven times the typical town. The bathing water somehow still comes out Good, so it's a gamble either way. There isn't a single bus after seven, there's one pub, and now they want to charge you to park on the front. Lovely spot.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Meols's 98 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Sewage spills98/1003,034 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping73/10015.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wirral council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain72/100148 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene42/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 10 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions38/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires24/1003.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution11/1004.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband11/1002.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.6% across the Wirral council area
- Anti-social behaviour0/1003.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson0/1002.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | Litherland | 59 |
| 12 | Bebington | 50 |
| 13 | Crosby | 48 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.14 | Maghull | 36 |
| 15 | Southport | 34 |
| 16 | West Kirby | 29 |
| – | Meols | 29 |
| 17 | Formby | 27 |
| 18 | Heswall | 16 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Meols by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 25.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 67% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 problems reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 4.0 per 10,000 people, 80% lower than the typical town's 20.4
- 0 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.0 per 10,000 people, 2.5x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 4.27pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 19.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 26% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,590 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Wirral council
- £2,501 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £109 more than the English average
- 11% of Wirral council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 31% lower than England's 16%
- 24 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Meols against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.