Crap Towns / Greater Manchester / Manchester
Manchester
99/100Crap Score
7th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in Greater Manchester. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Manchester? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Manchester. Mind that slab.
Mancs call it town. Step on the wrong flag in Piccadilly and you'll be wearing a puddle.
Manchester's stuck a worker bee on every bin and still can't find the gardens in Piccadilly Gardens. It's concrete. It rains on it. Didsbury's gone all sourdough and the flags in town squirt brown water up your leg. There's a tag on anything that stands still and a mattress down every back entry.
Pockets get picked. Theft from the person runs at fourteen times the typical town's rate, robbery at nearly five times, and if you left your bike outside, it's gone. The air's nearly twice the typical town's for nitrogen dioxide and the hygiene inspectors hand out 0 to 2 two and a half times as often as in the typical town. Scousers say it's full of itself. Fair.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Manchester's 95 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Food hygiene95/1006.1% rated 0 to 2, of the 4,068 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution94/10015.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping89/10025.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Manchester council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions89/1003.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson85/10010.5 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Deliberate fires84/10015.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain83/100160 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour76/10020.2 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Broadband66/10011.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.0% across the Manchester council area
- Sewage spills46/100236 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Manchester | 99 |
| 2 | Salford | 99 |
| 3 | Clifton | 98 |
| 4 | Farnworth | 98 |
| 5 | Eccles | 98 |
| 6 | Heywood | 97 |
| 7 | Kearsley | 96 |
| 8 | Walkden | 95 |
| 9 | Bolton | 94 |
Manchester by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 143 crimes per 1,000 people a year (July 2023 to June 2026) Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 76.2
- 1,209 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 25.7 per 10,000 people, 23.4x the typical town's 1.1
- 13 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 226 pubs, 236 hairdressers, 44 charity shops, 43 bookmakers, 58 vape shops, 28 banks, 25 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 10.8% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (55 of 510) Worse: 2.7x the typical town's 4.0%
- 15 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 3.2 per 100,000 people, 6% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 62 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 19% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 26 public swimming pools open; 17 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 15 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 1.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 22.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 43% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,370 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 11% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Manchester council
- £2,312 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £80 less than the English average
- 13% of Manchester council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 19% lower than England's 16%
- 34 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Manchester against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.