Crap Towns / Greater Manchester / Clifton
Clifton
98/100Crap Score
18th crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Greater Manchester. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Nice park. Look away from the Irwell.
Clifton's got a country park and a marina. It's also got a stretch of the Irwell you wouldn't put your hand in.
Clifton Country Park's lovely, with the lake, the marina and the old Wet Earth pit in the woods. Then the Irwell comes past carrying whatever the overflows let go of, nearly eight times the typical town's spill hours, and there's a fly-tipped sofa at the end of the lane. The station's there. The trains mostly just go past it.
Of the 90 food businesses with a rating, 13 get a hygiene rating of 0 to 2, six times the typical town's share. Oddly, the takeaways all passed. It's the rest of them. The air's 1.7 times the typical town's for nitrogen dioxide, and somebody torches a bin nearly seven times as often.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Clifton's 97 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Food hygiene97/10014.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 90 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills95/1002,173 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution89/10014.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping88/10024.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Salford council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires88/10019.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain83/100160 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson82/10010.1 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Anti-social behaviour74/10019.4 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Serious road collisions61/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband12/1002.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.8% across the Salford council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Manchester | 99 |
| 2 | Salford | 99 |
| 3 | Clifton | 98 |
| 4 | Farnworth | 98 |
| 5 | Eccles | 98 |
| 6 | Heywood | 97 |
| 7 | Kearsley | 96 |
| 8 | Walkden | 95 |
| 9 | Bolton | 94 |
Clifton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 104 crimes per 1,000 people a year (July 2023 to June 2026) Worse: 36% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 68% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 19) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.28am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 13.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 12% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,387 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 9% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Salford council
Have a crap-off
Clifton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.