Crap Towns / Hampshire / Liphook
Liphook
4/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 4. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Stuck at The Square.
Old coaching stop on the Portsmouth road. Still stopping. Mainly at the mini roundabouts.
Liphook is a nice, safe, clean village that nobody can drive through. The Square has mini roundabouts and a lorry stuck on them most mornings, behind the school run. The new houses keep coming and they've been arguing about a relief road for ages.
There's no bus after 5.56pm and there isn't one on a Sunday, so the jam at The Square is the only traffic going anywhere. Nearly a third of premises can't get gigabit broadband, and it chucks it down on 137 days a year. The carnival's good. The fireworks are good. Getting home afterwards isn't.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Liphook's 98 for broadband means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Broadband98/10032.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 26.2% across the East Hampshire council area
- Rain64/100137 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping45/10010.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, East Hampshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene32/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 26 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution26/1006.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson16/1004.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires13/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions11/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour1/1005.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 24 | Locks Heath | 9 |
| 25 | Alton | 9 |
| 26 | Hythe and Dibden Purlieu | 6 |
| 27 | South Hayling | 5 |
| – | Liphook | 4 |
| 28 | Hedge End | 4 |
| 29 | Horndean | 3 |
| 30 | Chandler's Ford | 3 |
| 31 | Lee-on-the-Solent | 0 |
Liphook by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 48.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 37% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 41 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 57.5 per 10,000 people, 16.9x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs, 1 hairdresser, 2 charity shops on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 14.0 per 100,000 people, 4.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 7.0 per 10,000 people, 4.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 5.56pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 34% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,648 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 8% higher than the typical town's 1,532
East Hampshire council
- £2,344 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £48 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 4 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Liphook against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.