Crap Towns / Essex / East Tilbury
East Tilbury
44/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 44. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Barrier's down. Get comfy.
Built for a shoe factory. The factory's gone. The level crossing hasn't.
East Tilbury was built for the Bata shoe factory, and they even called it Bataville. The factory's gone. What's left is the level crossing, where freight trains hold everyone up so long the place feels cut off. Coalhouse Fort is nice, and that's about the size of it.
Without a car it isn't a feeling. The last bus on a Wednesday goes at 6.28pm, and on a Sunday nothing comes at all. There's 1 pub. Some bright spark keeps setting the bins on fire, well above the typical town's rate, which might be the nightlife. At least it's not Tilbury.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
East Tilbury's 87 for air pollution means it's crapper than 87% of towns.
- Air pollution87/10011.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband76/10015.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.2% across the Thurrock council area
- Fly-tipping74/10015.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Thurrock council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires69/1009.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene65/1008.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 12 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson37/1006.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour36/1008.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills34/100118 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions13/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain4/100110 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Canvey Island | 51 |
| 11 | Harlow | 48 |
| 12 | Epping | 47 |
| 13 | Grays | 46 |
| – | East Tilbury | 44 |
| 14 | Chigwell | 43 |
| 15 | Loughton | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.16 | South Ockendon | 37 |
| 17 | Buckhurst Hill | 37 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
East Tilbury by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 67.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 11% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 5.2 per 10,000 people, 1.5x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 6.28pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,712 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 12% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Thurrock council
Have a crap-off
East Tilbury against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.