Crap Towns / Somerset / Crewkerne
Crewkerne
31/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 31. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Crewkerne? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Walk to the station? Bring sandwiches.
Pretty Georgian town. The station's miles out and the last bus goes before seven.
Crewkerne made webbing that went into space on the Shuttle. Can't get its own railway station into town, though. That's miles out, and the last bus pulls out at 6.54pm with nothing at all on a Sunday.
The Georgian bit's nice. Gigabit broadband reaches 40.5% of premises, so the town that helped put people in space can't download a film. The river gets more sewage than most. Space was easier.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Crewkerne's 99 for broadband means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Broadband99/10059.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.3% across the Somerset council area
- Sewage spills84/1001,100 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain52/100129 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene45/1002.1% rated 0 to 2, of the 48 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour40/10013.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires34/1004.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions28/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping19/1006.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Somerset council area, 2023-24 to 2024-25
- Air pollution15/1005.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson14/1004.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 7 | Chard | 38 |
| 8 | Yeovil | 34 |
| 9 | Minehead | 33 |
| 10 | Frome | 31 |
| – | Crewkerne | 31 |
| 11 | Wellington | 27 |
| 12 | Street | 17 |
| 13 | Portishead | 16 |
| 14 | Wells | 15 |
Crewkerne by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 64.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 15% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 5.7 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 13% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 2.8 per 10,000 people, 4x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 6.54pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 30.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,631 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Somerset council
Have a crap-off
Crewkerne against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.