Crap Towns / Fife / Cowdenbeath
Cowdenbeath
62/100Crap Score
Known as the Chicago of Fife.
374th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in Fife. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Cowdenbeath. Mind the stock cars.
Coal town with a football team called the Blue Brazil and a ground with a stock-car track round the pitch.
Cowdenbeath was a coal boomtown, rough enough to get called the Chicago of Fife. The pits went and the nickname stayed. The High Street is bookies, barbers and vape shops now: nearly six times the typical town's vape shops per head, and three and a half times its bookies. The bank shut and they opened a banking hub, so you can still get cash out for the bookie.
The fire brigade knows the way. Deliberate fires run at two and a half times the typical Scottish town's rate, and the bins go up at more than three times. Whoever's doing it isn't short of matches or free time.
The team is the Blue Brazil, which is the joke. Central Park has a stock-car track round the pitch, so on a Saturday you can watch Cowden lose and then watch some lads crash into each other on purpose.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Cowdenbeath's 96 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Deliberate fires96/10055.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions87/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain87/100163 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband78/10011.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.9% across the Fife council area
- Criminal damage and arson52/1007.2 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Sewage spills46/100
- Food hygiene34/1003.9% told to improve, of the 128 food businesses inspected
- Anti-social behaviour27/1006.4 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Air pollution10/1005.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Kirkcaldy | 76 |
| 2 | Cowdenbeath | 62 |
| 3 | Methil | 53 |
| 4 | Glenrothes | 52 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.5 | Rosyth | 30 |
| 6 | Leven | 28 |
| 7 | Dunfermline | 18 |
| 8 | St Andrews | 5 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Cowdenbeath by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 46.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 15% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 2 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical Scottish town's 0.9
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 9 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 3 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.7% of takeaways inspected told to improve (2 of 26) Better: 15% lower than the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 8.4 per 100,000 people, 2.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.5 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.33am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 2.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 86% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,346 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 12% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Fife council
- £1,574 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £79 less than the Scottish average
- 32% of Fife council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 11% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 127 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 2 upheld About the same: 34.1 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 96.1% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Cowdenbeath against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.