Crap Towns / Fife / Lochgelly
Lochgelly
37/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 37. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Lochgelly. Six of the best.
The town that gave its name to the school belt, under a gas plant flare that lights up the sky at night.
Every Scot over a certain age knows the word Lochgelly. It was the belt the teacher leathered you with, made in the town and named after it. That's the claim to fame. Now the sky over it gets lit up by the flares at Mossmorran, and the High Street is nine hairdressers, two vape shops, a bookie and no pub. That's more than nine times the typical town's vape shops per head. Nobody knows who needs that many haircuts.
The bins get set on fire at four times the typical Scottish town's rate, and the deliberate fires more than doubled in two years. With Mossmorran flaring away over the hill, maybe they're trying to keep up.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Lochgelly's 96 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Deliberate fires96/10062.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain82/100158 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson75/1009.2 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Broadband66/1007.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.9% across the Fife council area
- Anti-social behaviour59/1009.0 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Serious road collisions21/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene19/1001.8% told to improve, of the 56 food businesses inspected
- Air pollution6/1005.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills5/1000.9 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Kirkcaldy | 76 |
| 2 | Cowdenbeath | 62 |
| 3 | Methil | 53 |
| 4 | Glenrothes | 52 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.– | Lochgelly | 37 |
| 5 | Rosyth | 30 |
| 6 | Leven | 28 |
| 7 | Dunfermline | 18 |
| 8 | St Andrews | 5 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Lochgelly by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 55.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) About the same: About the same as the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 1 problem reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 93% lower than the typical Scottish town's 20.1
What's left on the high street
- 9 hairdressers, 1 bookmaker, 2 vape shops on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.8 per 10,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.01am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,342 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 12% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Fife council
- £1,574 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £79 less than the Scottish average
- 32% of Fife council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 11% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 127 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 2 upheld About the same: 34.1 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 96.1% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Lochgelly against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.