Crap Towns / Fife / Dunfermline
Dunfermline
18/100Crap Score
Locals call it Dunfy.
806th crappest of 984 towns, and 7th in Fife. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Dunfermline? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Dunfermline. A city, apparently.
The ancient capital of Scotland, made a city again in 2022. Nobody's told the High Street.
Dunfermline was the capital of Scotland once, there's a king buried in the Abbey, and in 2022 it finally got made a city. It celebrated by carrying on exactly as before. The High Street is charity shops, empty units and vape shops, more than twice as thick on the ground as in the typical town. The council sits in Glenrothes, and Dunfermline has never forgiven it.
It's gloomy. Rain on 158 days a year and 1,370 hours of sun. The kitchens are spotless and the sewers barely spill, so for a bit of excitement the grass gets set alight. The deliberate fires have gone up a good bit in two years.
Pittencrieff Park has peacocks. A city with peacocks. It's going to be insufferable.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Dunfermline's 82 for rain means it's crapper than 82% of towns.
- Rain82/100158 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband70/1008.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.9% across the Fife council area
- Deliberate fires60/10025.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Anti-social behaviour46/1007.4 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Criminal damage and arson33/1005.8 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions23/1001.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution13/1006.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills6/1001.5 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Food hygiene4/1001.6% told to improve, of the 446 food businesses inspected
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Kirkcaldy | 76 |
| 2 | Cowdenbeath | 62 |
| 3 | Methil | 53 |
| 4 | Glenrothes | 52 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.5 | Rosyth | 30 |
| 6 | Leven | 28 |
| 7 | Dunfermline | 18 |
| 8 | St Andrews | 5 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Dunfermline by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 45.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 17% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 93% lower than the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 15 pubs, 49 hairdressers, 12 charity shops, 6 bookmakers, 4 vape shops, 9 banks, 4 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1.8% of takeaways inspected told to improve (1 of 55) Better: 80% lower than the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 3.6 per 100,000 people, 6% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 12 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 31% higher than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.49am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 6.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 57% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,370 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 11% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Fife council
- £1,574 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £79 less than the Scottish average
- 32% of Fife council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 11% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 127 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 2 upheld About the same: 34.1 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 96.1% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Dunfermline against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.