Crap Towns / Fife / St Andrews
St Andrews
5/100Crap Score
Known as the Home of Golf.
930th crappest of 984 towns, and 8th in Fife. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
St Andrews. Rather pleased with itself.
Ancient university, the Old Course and a beach from a film. The locals can't afford to live in it.
St Andrews has the Old Course, a university older than most of Europe's and students in red gowns cycling down the middle of North Street. The houses cost so much the people who clean the halls drive in from Leven. The firebugs and the vandals never seem to make it past Guardbridge. It's the least crap town in Fife and it never shuts up about it.
There's no railway station, so you get the bus from Leuchars like everyone else. And the banks are leaving: for its size, more than three and a half times the closures the typical town has had.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
St Andrews's 98 for broadband means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Broadband98/10039.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.9% across the Fife council area
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Sewage spills41/100189 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Rain37/100123 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene18/1002.9% told to improve, of the 204 food businesses inspected
- Anti-social behaviour15/1004.9 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions11/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson7/1003.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires1/1002.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution0/1003.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Kirkcaldy | 76 |
| 2 | Cowdenbeath | 62 |
| 3 | Methil | 53 |
| 4 | Glenrothes | 52 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.5 | Rosyth | 30 |
| 6 | Leven | 28 |
| 7 | Dunfermline | 18 |
| 8 | St Andrews | 5 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
St Andrews by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 35.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 35% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 1 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 13 pubs, 10 hairdressers, 8 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 3 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways inspected told to improve (0 of 14) Better: Against the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 12.2 per 100,000 people, 3.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.6 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.44am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 6.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 59% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,565 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Fife council
- £1,574 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £79 less than the Scottish average
- 32% of Fife council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 11% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 127 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 2 upheld About the same: 34.1 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 96.1% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
St Andrews against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.