Crap Towns / Hampshire / Blackwater
Blackwater
8/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 8. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Blackwater. Try crossing the road.
A quiet little town with London Road ploughing straight through the middle.
Blackwater? Nothing wrong with it. Hardly any crime, hardly any crashes, nothing. So the locals moan about London Road, which runs right through the shops and is a bastard to cross on foot. The junctions are built for cars and sod everyone else.
There's 1 pub, 1 charity shop, 1 bookie and 1 vape shop, which per head is nearly five times the typical town's vape shops. Gigabit broadband reaches 99% of premises, so you can order everything else online and never have to cross the road.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Blackwater's 64 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 64% of towns.
- Fly-tipping64/10013.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Hart council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills61/100438 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution54/1008.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene35/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 20 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband26/1001.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 13.1% across the Hart council area
- Criminal damage and arson17/1004.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain13/100115 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires10/1001.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions3/1000.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour2/1005.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 22 | Farnborough | 10 |
| 23 | West End | 10 |
| 24 | Locks Heath | 9 |
| 25 | Alton | 9 |
| – | Blackwater | 8 |
| 26 | Hythe and Dibden Purlieu | 6 |
| 27 | South Hayling | 5 |
| 28 | Hedge End | 4 |
| 29 | Horndean | 3 |
Blackwater by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 40.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 47% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 73 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 102 per 10,000 people, 30x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.57pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 30.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,633 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 7% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Hart council
- £2,400 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £8 more than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Blackwater against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.