Crap Towns / Greater London / Wandsworth
Wandsworth
84/100Crap Score
160th crappest of 984 towns, and 20th in Greater London. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Clapham Junction isn't in Clapham.
Northcote Road's got that many buggies it's known as Nappy Valley. Getting down the pavement is a contact sport.
They spent years doing up Battersea Power Station and turned it into somewhere to buy trainers. The flats round it at Nine Elms have empty shops underneath. Clapham Junction is in Battersea, which everyone in Battersea will tell you, and Putney's full of rowers in gilets. Tooting's the bit that's still a laugh.
Wandsworth's council tax is less than half England's average, which is the one thing everyone here brings up at dinner. They don't bring up the air. Nitrogen dioxide is more than twice the typical town's, and the buggies on Northcote Road are getting it at exhaust height. The bikes get nicked too, and in Putney they're not cheap bikes.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Wandsworth's 98 for air pollution means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Air pollution98/10018.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 8.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions97/1005.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping84/10017.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wandsworth council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour83/10022.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene80/1003.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 2,019 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband59/1009.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 9.7% across the Wandsworth council area
- Sewage spills28/10087.8 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson19/1004.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires18/100
- Rain8/100112 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 16 | Enfield | 88 |
| 17 | Lewisham | 87 |
| 18 | Greenwich | 85 |
| 19 | Islington | 84 |
| 20 | Wandsworth | 84 |
| 21 | Barnet | 83 |
| 22 | Waltham Forest | 82 |
| 23 | Kensington and Chelsea | 79 |
| 24 | Redbridge | 77 |
Wandsworth by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 79.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 339 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 10.4 per 10,000 people, 9.5x the typical town's 1.1
- 8 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 118 pubs, 176 hairdressers, 39 charity shops, 32 bookmakers, 6 vape shops, 23 banks, 8 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.8% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (9 of 155) Worse: 45% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 12 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 3.7 per 100,000 people, 9% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 53 public toilets on the map (October 2026) About the same: 1.6 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 1.6
- 22 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
- 7 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.44am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,619 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Wandsworth council
Have a crap-off
Wandsworth against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.